|This is what pathetic people do when their lives are over
||[Aug. 29th, 2004|07:17 pm]
Fuck I'm sexy!
|||||emo crying sounds from Sadie, realizing she may be reduced to a common dog whore||]|
Thats right, they ask everyone younger than them for money. You know the drill. We are poor, and we are in desperate need of funds ASAP. How desperate?! Would you like to see us...EVICTED?! Do you want (this is geared particularly towards Andrew) to help us move all of the FURNITURE that you just moved in out again when we get...EVICTED?! No, didn't think so.
*One of us wanted to make sure you were aware of the extra bonus that may come along with our being deported from our beloved JP home- we may have to move in with YOU, and you may hear us having the WILD SEX every night to NICKLEBACK in the room next to you, below you, above you, or even, dare I say, if you're Andrew, in the bunk above/below you. Just a warning*
Anyway, what can you do, you ask? You too can help! ASAP! We need to come up with approx. $600 AMERICAN dollars this week (preferably before like wed, since that is SEPT 1ST) and any amount you can donate would be greatly appreciated (don't fuck around and send us like $2, it will not get you cheap booze, or even a small quantity of marijuana. You will get NOTHING. Except a smack in the face). We accept personal checks (they bounce, we kill you), PAYPAL (my email address is cullin.L@neu.edu- if you need assistance on how to reach us in this manner, by far the EASIEST manner, comment please), hell, even a deposit into our bank account (we don't have anything you could possibly take out, and how could you do it, unless you looked like a woman and had one of our old drivers licences). Our time is really running out (you may have noticed that tomorrow is AUGUST 30), SO PLEASE DON'T DELAY! Unless you want to hear doggie horror stories on the next Animal Precinct on Animal Planet about golden retriever prostitution. Think of Sadie!
*Another note- we are aware that we owe a certain KAILEY and a certain ANDREW money, and you will be receiving this money, and any other monies you choose to contribute, plus interest, within a time period of one to two months. Don't worry, we won't dick you over, unless of course that's what you're looking for (hehe, Andy).*
We need you! Just like Uncle Sam! So don't delay! One of our phones has already been turned off! Please comment/email/call on Theresa's cell for further details!
We thank you for your cooperation and deepest love of your favorite homosexual neighbors,
the infamous "dykes"